Archive for May, 2010

Pictures of Me

May 11, 2010

Been sending my mistress pictures of Guy Friday from all over the place and have been running into logistical issues. The first time I was at work, receiving her pleasantly pornographic picts, I got a little hot under the collar. After choosing the method of reciprocity I needed a little privacy.

Cubicleout. Two walls missing. Might be seen by ugly manager and she may think I’m offering.

Parking lotout. Things like my ex-‘s vagina, hourly arrivals and departures. Or like an airport. Take your pick.

Bathroom in. Private booths. Limited traffic.

Picking the first stall I whip out my member of the Man Club and get a stiffy. Taking the first pic I notice that there’s not a lot of light to get detail. My cock looks like a creeping zeppelin along a coordinate plane with the tiles. The other light source is against the back wall of the stall and is considerable. Turning around I start framing the shot, all the while the toilet’s been flushing. Because it has a sensor with automatic flush I paid it no mind. Turning around I realize that the toilets stuffed and will overflow in about three to four more flushes, soaking my shoes and the bottom of my pants. Survival instinct, and not wanting to smell like a stranger’s stool, kicks in. I rally. Snap the pic, pull up my pants and send it with the caption, “Close One”.

Later on that week I wanted to get a little artsy with the next portrait. Mixing some agave syrup with water, I figure I would drizzle it on my member resulting in it glistening and dripping. Putting down a towel or two, I rise, drip the mixture on Guy Friday and steady myself to take the picture. Without warning my 2-year-old pit bull comes bounding into the room to say hello, smells the mixture on my trickster and tries to lick it off. Evasive maneuvers take place and I wind up in the shower, removing evidence.

So boys and girls, if you want to do something nice for your mister or mistress – Buy Them Something!!

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Jim Witness Registers for Twatter

May 11, 2010

Just registered for the anti-Twitter. You can follow me at jimwitness. What is Twatter?? Here’s a blurb taken from their About page:

“Twatter is a micro-blogging service based on the Free Software StatusNet tool. If you register for an account, you can post small (140 chars or less) text notices about yourself, where you are, what you’re doing, or practically anything you want. You can also subscribe to the notices of your friends, or other people you’re interested in, and follow them on the Web or in an RSS feed.”